Joe Bloggs

Cure that phobia

Science. Wonderful innit! Give them enough time and the scientists will come up with a cure for almost anything. Or recycle an old drug for a different ailment. So, now you can cure your phobias by using a drug that is already on the market for tuberculosis. The medication, D-cycloserine, "causes changes to the amygdala, the part of the brain involved in learning and memory. It involves a protein that appears to kick-start a chain of neuro chemical events that enable people to relearn what makes them scared." All of that sound pretty good, but there does appear to be an important proviso: 'It should help you get over whatever it is you are afraid of, as long as you face up to your fear.' The fact is a lot of people are very happy with their phobias. I used to think that I liked dogs, but was just scared of them. I have long come to the conclusion that I don't like them and am very comfortable with my fear of all animals. Of course, the discovery will mean a great deal to those afflicted with truly debilitating fears, but I'll pass on this one thanks.

Serendipity

The last time I was in front of a TV in a public place was at some non-descript exhibition where the exhibitor was showing off his sound system by playing The Eagles - Hell Freezes Over DVD. Last time before today that is, when the Bloggs went en famille to a large PTA function at a nearby hall. Getting around on crutches in a crowded room is still a bit much, so I sat myself down in front of a TV to watch a riveting discussion on normalisation. Unfortunately, the sound was turned down so low I didn't catch quite what it was they were trying to normalise. My train of thought started to wander and settled on that Eagles DVD. Eventually, feeling anything but normal, I decided to battle through the crowds and take a look at the flea market section. Japanese flea markets hold but one interest for me and that is CDs/DVDs. You can pick up some real bargains. I think you can guess the rest of the story. What were the chances of me finding that particular DVD on sale and at a mere US$4.50 (£3)? I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. (Oh, and now you know my real age!)

Later: I'm glad I only paid ¥500 for it - though Joe Walsh is still a guitar hero!

Red blooded blue

Blood may be thicker than water, but it's nowhere near as thick as one's love for a football team. Or at least that is what one Manchester United fan believes. He has made his brother sign a contract renouncing all support for his beloved blue Manchester City before agreeing to stem cell transplant surgery. The red-brother certainly had fun drawing up the contract which included clauses such as what colour clothes can be worn by the suffering sibling and even the colour scheme of his house ... you've guessed it ... red. An English psychologist once told me it is easier to get a man to change religion than his football team. Bone marrow, of course, is a different (t)issue altogether.

Daily worship

Like the sign says, bookmark this page and ye shall indeed be saved. From what? Well ... boredom maybe. Or at least I flatter myself so! You can create your own church sign at this little site I found on my travels today.

You decide

Went to get the plaster cut away from my foot this morning. Having reported in the past how fast treatment was at the hospital I've been going to, I ended up spitting venomous words at the receptionist 40 minutes after my appointment time with still no sign of being called by the doctor! The cutting of the plaster was scary to say the least. A raw spinning rotor blade. The doc just ignored my "whoa" noises and cut through to reveal a still very swollen ankle. I'm now reduced to wearing a stiff brace and I still need crutches when outside. All of which was a prelude to the real event of the morning when I was waiting to pay. Looking through the papers I'd been handed I saw that my age was printed on my next appointment slip. My eyes made a double-take and I thought, 'That's not correct. I'm not that old. They must have made a mistake'. I then saw the date of birth and, much to my dismay, everything was correct. So. I either feel much younger than I am. Or. I'm going senile.

Captain America sounds off

I think we all agree that America and the UK are two countries separated by a common language, and the illustration above is a perfect example. My British readers will either be recoiling in horror or sniggering in the back of the class. I particularly like the words of the guy to the left. Before you get the wrong idea, that's a sound effect the artist was aiming at!

Picture courtesy of Vaneta.

Later: The Alistair Cooke article linked above is well worth the read. If you know his voice you can hear him speaking as you read it. If you don't, just click on the link on the top right of the BBC page and hear him reading it to you.

Chanting Poetry from the Stands

I went out with a song, so I guess it is appropriate I come back in a similar vein. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot (as I've explained in the comments of that entry) is the anthem that England's rugby fans sing at all England games. The English really are the world champions at singing and chanting at sports events. The Australian even admits the Aussies were waltzed out of the stadium on Saturday. The tradition goes back a long way and now the sponsors of the English Premier League are looking for a Chants Laureate. The job specification is pretty simple:

"the laureate will demonstrate their ability to create witty, insightful, rousing, and original chants that reflect the pride and passion of the game".

If you think you're up to it, you'll get paid more than the Poet Laureate and you'll have keep out the obscenities. Unfortunately, that rules out most of the chanters themselves, which is a shame because it is on the stands that they come up with the best ones. My favourite is one against my own team. They were playing a team from a lowly division in some cup competition and that team were in danger of getting relegated to an even lower division that season. Our fans started singing "Going down, going down, going down", to which their fans replied as quick as a flash in the same tune, "So are we, so are we, so are we". Shut our lot up PDQ.

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

I'm not sure if I'll have an Internet connection this weekend, so I'll leave you with one thought for Saturday:

Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home!

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound
Comin' for to carry me home!

Hope springs eternal.

Shake Hands with the Devil

I studied economic and social history at university. You know, that boring subject that has no relevance to our lives now. That's what we used to hear from snipers in the midst. Except of course history in general is probably the most relevant subject being taught in our schools and colleges. It may be pat to say "if we don't learn from our past, we are doomed to repeat our mistakes in the future", but the frequency with which we continue to repeat our mistakes is appalling, and this particular 'pat' has its basis in fact. So why aren't we ashamed when genocide occurs on the planet? It seems to happen once a decade or so. More to the point, why do we let it happen again and again? Lieutenant-General Romeo Dallaire, Commander of the United Nations peacekeeping force in Rwanda in 1994, has written a book, called 'Shake Hands with the Devil', about the genoice that occurred there. A genocide he was powerless to stop.

The habitual cry of politicians after genocides - be they in Germany, Cambodia or Rwanda - has been to shout from the rooftops "Never Again".

Bill Clinton used these very words when he visited Kigali in March 1998. But saying "Never Again" is rather meaningless unless the reasons the genocide occurred are analysed and addressed.

As the BBC Article the quote above is taken from points out, this is a book about failiure. Not just of politicians or countries, but of humanity. You and I are complicit.

Just because

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Sonnets XVIII

Adults-only science

I've complained before about London being over-crowded and a tiring place to get around, but is it possibly the hippest city on the planet right now? Another bold new venture has opened there in the form of an adults-only science centre. The following is taken directly from the centre's website

The Dana Centre marks a new direction in science communication: to challenge public perception and tackle contemporary science head on. This dynamic events space will bring the hottest themes in modern science to adults-only audiences through a programme of bold and innovative events. It will be a taboo-free centre and the place to talk science.

Read more about it in this Wired Magazine article.

Checking up on the poodle

Well he's arrived and so far I'd call it Protesters 1 Blair/Bush 0 - for the simple reason that most of the world's media is leading with the security issue rather than the purpose of the visit. Of course that could be because there appears to be bugger-all reason for the visit. John Simpson, on the BBC News I watched just now, pretty much suggested that all GWB wants is lots of pomp and ceremony so he can take the video footage home and edit highlights in time for his re-election campaign. And why not. Any other president would do the same. But what about Tony? What does he get out of it? Will he be able to get any concessions on the environment, steel and the Israeli/Palestinian situation? Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm certainly not going to hold my breath in anticipation.

Snapping, napping and reversing

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but they take their transport seriously in this country. In what other country would a bullet train driver snapping photos on his mobile phone and sending them to his girlfriend make the main TV news? This follows on the heels of a bus driver reversing down an expressway (motorway/freeway) and another bullet train driver napping at the wheel. Indeed big enough news for the Minister of Transport to hold a news conference and express his concern over the recent spate of incidents. The fact is without their buses, planes and trains (in particular), this country would cease to function in the manner it does. Public transport here is a well oiled machine, and a big 'hallelujah' to that.

Bologna

Piazza St. Stefano is also known by locals as the Square of the Seven Churches. Never mind that there are now only four churches standing (the one on the left of this picture is the Basilica of St. Stefano) this place is worth a visit if you visit Bologna. Early morning is an especially good time to appreciate the serenity of the piazza. Being greenhorn tourists we were caught at the entrance of the Basilica by a woman asking for money. Having been to Florence the day before and been charged to enter the Santa Maria Novella, we assumed this was some sort of entrance charge. We asked how much and the woman looked at the coins in our hand and pointed to 2 Euros. We duly paid and it was only on leaving when we saw others waltz in through the other door, without so much as a glance at the woman, that we realised she was a beggar. It was probably the first time she had anyone ask her how much she wanted. Her modesty will no doubt fare her well on judgement day ... if you believe in that kind of thing.

Having experienced morning in the Piazza, you'll want to come back in the evening to dine at the restaurant just behind the white awning (click on the photo for a larger view) you see on the right of the photograph. I've mentioned the Ristorante Cesarina before and I'll probably do it again. The best lasagne I have ever tasted.

Master Cameo

A bit of enlightening fun for film buffs. How many Alfred Hitchcock flicks have you seen where you've recognised the master in his cameo role? Not that I've seen that many - my loss I know - but from now on I'll be going straight to this site detailing Hitchcock's cameos when I fail to spot him in the crowd, or in the photo, or on the bus, or walking the dog, or reading a newspaper, or on the subway, and all the other places he pops up in.

via Geisha Asobi

Sycophantic support

As Rummy makes his way around Asia, Japanese TV has been focussing on the matter of Japan sending troops to Iraq - on some mission or other. Obligatory clips of Dubya speaking to the converted masses at home got me thinking how similar U.S. politics is to that of countries it despises most i.e. those led by demagogues. Have you ever seen a speech given by a U.S. president on home soil that isn't received rapturously by the audience? How exactly does that differ to speeches given by leaders Great and Dear? I've seen Tony Blair (and of course Major and Thatcher before him, and indeed other politicians) been given a horrendous time by all sorts of audiences. Possibly the best was that of a Minister of Education giving a speech to the Teachers Union who was greeted with reverberating silence when he finished. In the U.S. elections and politics in general appear to be fought out via paid advertisements and seem to consist solely of sound bites. Where's the debate? Where does dissent get a proper airing?

Firenze

I was there three weeks ago and lack of an Internet connection at the time postponed any posts on the city of Florence. There probably is more art and architecture of note per square meter here than anywhere else on the planet. As my companion said "anywhere you look, it's like a postcard". Indeed. And most of the people there (hangs head in shared guilt) were either taking their pictures to send home or buying said postcard. Wonderful stuff, but too many tourists. Furthermore, I'm not convinced the Italians really know how to look after the place. Surely banning all cars from the center would be a start. But it is difficult to complain. For all the vehicles, and even more people, you just have to enter a church (like the Santa Maria Novella pictured on the left), or climb Giotto's Bell Tower (where the picture of the Duomo was taken on the right) and you can be back in the Renaissance. Magnifico.

Click on the photos for enlargements.

Great train journeys?

I've found at least two blogs based on bus journeys. 73 Urban Journeys is literally about things the author sees and hears on the No. 73 in London. You get a bit more on Route 79 e.g. a great chicken recipe with step by step photo instructions on there right now. It got me thinking that a bullet train blog would be a great idea. There's enough going on inside and outside the train to keep people interested for a good while. The only problem being you'd have to be dead rich to be travelling on those trains everyday. I've just come back from a gruelling day trip to Yokohama - considerably poorer and convinced that Japan's railways stations were not meant for anyone with even the slightest disability. Getting around on crutches in stations with no downward escalators is not something to be recommended. (Though watching The Office on DVD on a laptop on the train is!)

After 5 indulgence

Emperor Showa is reported to have only watched sumo tournaments on weekdays after 5pm. The reason for not switching on the TV for live transmissions earlier was that he didn't like to be indulging in a pastime while his subjects were still working. I used to use the same excuse (substitute 'subjects' with 'colleagues'), but the fact of the matter is the best wrestlers fight last and the biggest match-ups are on between 5pm and 6pm. This all came to mind when I switched on the TV today and caught some live sumo for the first time in yonks. I used to be hooked - line and sinker - but like many Japanese I've lost interest to a surprising degree. The wrestlers don't have the oomph of yesteryear and the sport is suffering from taking its support for granted in the boom years. (I once went with a family and they paid close to $1,000 for parking alone!) The economy is going to have to recover big time before sumo packs any weight with the majority of the populace again. If you're interested you can follow the current tournament via the Nihon Sumo Kyokai (Japan Sumo Association) website.

Close London or we won't go!

That's pretty much what Bush's security team are telling the British government and the Metropolitan police about George W.'s upcoming visit to London. As you might suspect there are a number of organisations in the U.K. that aren't prepared to take such an ultimatum lying down. Global Resistance is one of them and wants to disrupt the best laid plans of mice and men - or at least of the Met and Dubya's G-men. In their favour the Met are also unhappy about the demands being made on them by the U.S. administration. The visit will be the biggest security operation ever carried out in Britain and apparently American security forces have been given permission to shoot anyone they think is directly threatening the life of the President. Bloody hell! Why's he visiting exactly?

Accentuating the best

Time to bring your attention to two of the best writers you will find in the United States or anywhere else for that matter. Paul Krugman and Maureen Dowd both write for the New York Times Op-Ed page and are worth the hassle of registering on that site for their columns alone. Krugman is the professor of Economics and International Affairs at Princeton University and you are unlikely to read a more lucid and easy-to-understand economist anywhere on the planet. Dowd is worth reading even when she writes on a subject you know nothing about. She is funny, merciless and, as one of her readers says, "she makes the fascist right froth". Bookmark the linked pages and dip in now and then. They're worth it.

If you haven't already registered on the NYT site you really should, but in the meantime use bloggsjoe as your user name and bloggsjoe as the password.

Carp herpes

The Japanese have always had a special fondness for carp (koi). You will see them in many ornamental gardens and small ponds in temples and shrines. So when a deadly disease starts sweeping through carp fish farms it makes the news. Koi herpes virus (KHV) was first detected in Israel in 1997, and has been found in other Asian nations, but this is the first time it has entered Japan. As yet no one knows how.

Pet Hates

No. 1 in an occasional list. Eating while talking on the phone. I've done it in the past. I promise not to again. When it's done to me I want to scream "STOP EATING" and slam the phone down, but never have the nerve to. I think I hate it almost as much as I hate pets.

American exceptionalism

"For 50 years, it has been constantly repeated to the inhabitants of the United States that they form the only religious, enlightened, and free people. They see that up to now, democratic institutions have prospered among them; they therefore have an immense opinion of themselves, and they are not far from believing that they form a species apart in the human race."

This isn't an overtly political blog. You'll have gathered that for yourself over the few short months it has been on the air. That doesn't, however, mean that I shy away from highlighting good writing on the subject. Here's another Economist article that is really worth reading if you want to get an insight into the divisions wrought within (and without) the United States by the September 11th terrorist attacks. It's worth going to the linked page just to look at the bar charts if reading the article is too much of a challenge on your time.

Reduced majority

I was a bit naughty to allude to the Japanese General Election on Sunday and not give you a result. (I'm assuming those who read Joe Bloggs abroad and tend to access local medial outlets only will have heard next to nothing about the election. From experience Japan only registers on global news radar screens for earthquakes and major dips in the Nikkei share index.) Anyway, the ruling party got back in with a decreased majority. This Economist article gives a succinct appraisal of the outcome.

Foot plaster

So that's what it looks like folks. I've done something to the ligament. Had a good doc who said "usually in Japan they recommend surgery, but if we put it in plaster for a few weeks it should mend by itself". They recommend surgery for obvious reasons - money into the coffers - but fortunately my guy has studied in the States and understood my (typically foreigner's) reluctance to spend time in hospital. The plastering was fun - none of the messy plaster of Paris stuff - he just wound the bandages around and it seemed to stiffen by itself. It probably does spell the end of my football playing days (no great loss to anyone unfortunately), but the doc says I won't have a problem skiing - except of course I do have problems skiing, but more lessons should sort that out. No?

Is yours a McJob?

Not surprisingly McDonald's are not happy about a new word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary which defines the word McJob as "low paying and dead-end work". The word was coined by Douglas Coupland in his novel Generation X to describe "A low-pay, low-prestige, low-dignity, low-benefit, no-future job in the service sector. Frequently considered a satisfying career choice by people who have never held one". Apparently McDonald's have a trademark on the word for a training programme for handicapped people and they may be bringing in lawyers over that little point. Can't see them winning that one though - then again with the current Bush Administration you never know which way the courts will go. Mr Coupland, by the way, coined a few other terms in his book. Here's a list of those neologisms.

Sunday medicine

It might be bloated and expensive - for the tax payer if no one else - but the Japanese medical system can be a marvel and god-send when it works as efficiently as it did just now. The pain was getting a bit much so I went to the hospital where a friend works in the front office. The whole procedure from filling out the necessary forms for a new patient, to having 8 x-rays taken and being seen by a doctor to interpret the results, to paying the 4,300 yen (roughly US$37 or £25) for the examination took a little less than an hour. This is a Sunday! It would probably have taken longer on a weekday, but not bad at all methinks.

The diagnosis? No obvious breaks. Can't tell if the ligament has either been stretched or (god forbid) torn. Come back tomorrow to see a specialist.

The End?

Quite possibly. I'm writing this lying down on the sofa with my right ankle swollen to the size of a tennis ball. It may well spell the end of my footballing career - the latter being a big word to explain an occasional Sunday morning indulgence. Still, I guess there are worse ways of going out than by scoring a hat-trick in the first five minutes.

All Quiet on the Eastern Front

There is no concept of noise pollution here in Japan. The biggest offenders are politicians at election time with their loudspeaker mounted trucks exhorting potential voters to cast ballots in their favour. Well they stopped at 8pm today and the peace after the storm is beautiful. Which way will the cookie crumble? In less than 24 hours we will know.

On the mend

The Japanese economy is on the mend. Possibly just out of life support, but definitely getting better. I've been walking around factories and warehouses for the last 4 days and been meeting people who haven't taken a day off in a year. You can usually tell the state of the order book at any given factory by the level of noise and ear muffs are now de rigeur. You'd thnk this would help the ruling party, but a straw poll - consisting of four Japanese workers ;+) - suggests the incumbents might suffer in the General Election on Sunday. Let's hope so.

Google oogle

How good is Google? So asks the The Economist. The answer is 'the best' and if you don't already use it as your search engine of choice, you should. However, you might want to read the linked article before investing any money in the company when it is floated on the stock exchange next spring. It's not as surefire a winner as one might expect, even though '75% of referrals to websites now originate from Google's algorithms'.

Wireless Internet

This post is coming to you from the lobby of a hotel in deepest Gunma - a prefecture just northwest of Tokyo. It is the first time I have got my wireless Net connection to work outside of my house in a so-called hotspot. It's convenient and free, and well worth getting a wireless LAN card installed in one's computer for just such an occasion. Of course it's not so nice when one gets stung by mosquitoes in the process - we're in November for goodness sakes - but this beggar has no intention of complaining any further than he already has done.

Aurora alert

The Sun is playing up again. In a Big way. The largest solar flare ever recorded has unleashed billions of tonnes of superhot gas into space and apparently some of it is coming our way. Nothing to worry about - unless you have money invested in some satellites that will get hit or use short wave radio - but if you have good dark and cloudless skies near you, you may just get lucky and get to see the Aurora Borealis. Get out there and take a look. It's raining here. :+(

A Wild Sheep Chase

I've just finished (read it on the two long plane journeys to and from Europe to be specific) Haruki Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase. Murakami is apparently the flavour of the decade in Japan and Korea and after reading this book I can see why. An unlikely story of a hunt for a particular sheep that takes our rootless protagonist from an almost Philip K. Dick version of Tokyo, up to Hokkaido in search of said sheep and a friend called Rat. Reading it at 30,000 feet and finishing it after having seen Kill Bill and Jerry Springer The Opera blunted my efforts to read into the metaphors of the book, but the author is popular among the young in this part of Asia and it is clear to see why. He addresses issues of the disenchantment of current Japanese (Asian?) society and its unfulfilled promises to the young. The Philip K. Dick reference may be a little over the top, but if you want, amongst other things, to get an inkling of the disillusionment of the salaried-classes here in Japan, this one is for you.

10 steps to good health

Seen on a toilet wall in a restaurant in Yokohama.

No. 9: Getting in a car is fast, but walking is a short cut to good health.

Trite, but doesn't make it any less true.

Loving spoonful

A question the Japanese always put to each other when they go abroad is 'what will be the first thing you eat when you get back?' Mine was a spoonful of salmon roe. And delicious it was too!

Football humour

I came across two examples of good football banter during my stay in England. The first one is a quote from a manager of a professional team:

If you've been out for a night and you pull, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird, but at least we got her in the taxi.

This second one is from a match report written by my 10 year old nephew in a game he played in for his school St Anthony's against Westminster Choir School:

A superb first half for us: St Ants 4, Westminster Choir School 0. We resisted the temptation to chant "You're not singing anymore!" as we left the pitch for refreshments and a team talk.

I was tickled by both.

Weapons Grade Suppository?

Well the odyssey is coming to an end and I haven't managed to get any pictures up until now. Other pictures (especially of Florence) will follow - possibly on days when I don't have much to say - but in the meantime here are a couple of photos of a building I've talked about before. My photos (as usual) don't really do it justice and you certainly have to look carefully at the photo on the left (click on them for larger views), but I give you the Swiss Re building at 30 St Mary Axe. Sometimes known as the Erotic Gherkin, I prefer the title I read somewhere else and have used here. Not that I didn't think it impressive in the flesh - so to speak. By far the most imaginative building in the neighbourhood and I noticed many a head rise, look away and then look again when they approached. The colour was a little disappointing, but I think that was as much due to the cloudy day as anything else. That is to say, everything looked depressed that day. Worth a visit if you are in town.

See you back in Japan.

Throw me to the lesbians

OK, so this is why London is still a leading city. Innovative theatre that packs a punch. 'Jerry Springer the Opera' brings low brow TV to high brow theatre/opera. Great voices. Great staging. Nice shift in story line and faithful to its roots. By the end I was singing along and agreeing:

This is my Jerry Springer moment.
I don't want this moment to die.
Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians.
I don't want this moment to die.